To quote Jim Rohn, “We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” When you think about it, there is some truth in this.” You generally surround yourself with family, with people who share similar interests to you, your work colleagues, etc. because you fit in and they are a lot like you.
There is a certain amount of comfort in being surrounded by people who are like you. You don’t have to think about what is motivating them. You don’t need to evaluate whether you trust them and whether they will have your back. You know their pinch points, what makes them laugh, how they approach situations, etc. In fact, the better you know them, the easier it is to go to sleep, in essence.
What happens if you want to make a change? Change, in and of itself, can be difficult but it becomes even harder if you are surrounded by people who have a vested interest in you staying the same. We have all had a friend or two who have told us about wanting to do something different and we have cautioned them about doing it. This generally comes in the form of well-meaning advice, although it is important to recognize that even this is more about you than it is about them. We don’t like to think of it, but each of us has been guilty of holding someone back.
To make a change, you have to be prepared to do something different. It could be that you need to create a new ritual or routine, change something in your environment, take on a new belief, etc. What you believe and do is going to have to be different, to get something different and there is value in looking to the success of others.
By engaging with people who are successful in the areas you want success in, over time you start to pick up their thinking. You have the chance to watch them in what they do, to listen to them talk, to hear how they describe their world, to see their rituals and behaviors and over a period of time, you start to become like them, without even thinking about it.
Think about it this way, when you first entered into your workplace, you probably didn’t know the intricacies of the company. You didn’t know the language or the funny abbreviations people used. You didn’t know the routines and who used what cup, when getting coffee. It wouldn’t have taken you long to figure all of this out and before long you became one of them.
The same thing happens when you surround yourself with people who are able to do what you would like to be able to do. If you want to learn to sell, then hang out with people who are good salespeople. If you want to get in shape, then hang out with people at a gym. If you want to become a great at speaking, then go and watch people speak.
The more you hang out with the people you want to become like, the faster you will become one of them.